Not only is this an example of all-or-nothing-thinking (something that inevitably leads to a loop of self-sabotage), but it’s also an example of not living your best life, simply because you’re overweight. ‘Putting your life on hold until you lose weight’ is another distorted mindset and belief like the ‘I’ll be happy when’ syndrome.
Are you waiting to reach your ideal weight before buying nice clothes, dating, changing careers, or even going on holiday? Is your current weight becoming a barrier not just for good health, but it’s stopping you from doing the simplest of things that you love to do? You may find that you are not spending quality time doing things with friends and family because you feel ashamed and embarrassed about how you look. Your weight and how you feel about yourself may even be creating a massive barrier to you simply enjoying your life.
Ironically, in putting off doing new and exciting things now, you’re making weight loss harder than ever. You’re not building the resilience, self-care and self-love necessary to change your relationship with food.
But I’ll Be Happy When I Finally Lose Weight!
Life’s problems don’t magically evaporate when you drop a dress size. The unhealthy “when I lose weight” mindset might make you believe a thinner version of you will perfectly handle all of life’s challenges with a smile. This is in direct contrast to who you are now – unhappy with your body and overeating when stressed or sad.
Perhaps you’ve tried a few diets (well, let’s be honest, many) and managed to lose weight for a short while – you felt like a winner! But the weight crept back on, making you feel even worse than before. Which in turn led to overeating, yo-yo dieting patterns or even the beginning of a binge eating disorder.
Ok, But Everyone and Everything Tells Me I’ll Be Happy If I Lose Weight First
Modern society glorifies weight loss. Magazines, TV, movies and social media influencers all push thinness as equivalent to success. Overweight people are frequently the targets of abuse and ridicule. It’s implied that if you are overweight then you are lazy, unmotivated and lack self-discipline. There’s nothing further from the truth.
These overwhelming messages put extra pressure on those already struggling with body-image issues, binge eating, and food addiction to lose weight RIGHT NOW! It takes resilience, kindness and courage to practice self-care and stop worrying about what others think. It takes time and patience to learn the skill of mindful, intuitive eating.
But what’s needed most is to break the unhealthy patterns of:
- binge eating;
- yo-yo dieting;
- food addiction;
- emotional eating;
- demonising food;
- self-demoralising thoughts, and
- hating and abusing your body.
But Change Right Now Is Scary…
Change is scary for everyone. If you’re an emotional eater, sitting with normal but unpleasant feelings such as sadness, anger or fear is going to be uncomfortable and difficult, at first. Many people want to lose weight but don’t realise how much they rely on eating to manage these feelings.
‘When I lose weight’ is also a convenient excuse not to do the things many of us find nerve-wracking, like dating, traveling, or applying for a new job. Unfortunately, this way of thinking is putting your life on hold. The truth is that confidence and resilience gained in trying new things NOW are the very tools needed for overcoming compulsive eating so that you can lose weight.
5 Tips To Building Confidence and Happiness NOW
Tip #1 – Buy Nice Clothes
Validate who you are right now. Buy that skirt, shirt or dress you love in your current size. Put it on and see how much better it makes you feel. Stop punishing yourself for being overweight by only wearing your ‘ugly, fat and black’ clothes. It’s time to feel good now by wearing your ‘nice, bright, confident’ clothes reserved for skinny-you.
Tip #2 – Exercise or Start a New Hobby
“I really want to join that class… but I’m so overweight, I’ll stick out, what will other people think?” Who cares? Anyone worth building a friendship with is not going to judge you on your weight. The same goes with exercise; you have just as much right to be there in the yoga or dance class as anyone else. A supportive gym buddy or personal trainer can help you with this. Doing something that you enjoy and lights you up is worth doing NOW. No matter the activity, if it makes you feel good, start today. Bring more happiness and joy into your life.
Tip #3 – Go on Holidays
“I’d love to go to the beach but I’m too embarrassed, I don’t have a beach body!” You have a body, and when you go to the beach… voila, you have a beach body! Find some swimwear or beach clothes that make you feel glorious, and go for it. The sun and surf aren’t reserved only for thin people.
Tip #4 – Dating and Making New Friends
Putting yourself out there with new relationships, both romantic and platonic, is always scary. Don’t put it off until you’re a perfect weight; after all, only superficial kinds of people will accept you on appearance alone. Never turn down a meaningful connection with someone based solely on thinking you’re not good enough, all because of your weight. Meaningful connections are based on WHO YOU ARE not how much you weigh!
Tip #5 – Studying or Changing Jobs
Similar to above, it’s scary to put yourself in a situation where you’ll be judged. If you’re defining self-worth by how much weight you can/can’t lose, you may subconsciously think you’re not worthy of getting that promotion at work or doing study, thus, sabotaging your chances of professional growth.
Don’t make your relationship with food and weight an underlying roadblock to living your best life right now!
Learning how to release unhealthy mindsets and beliefs requires guidance and support. Just like learning a new hobby, developing a new skill for a job or studying to upskill yourself for your career, your personal life is no different.
In order to create your best life and live it, you need to learn the knowledge and skills to help you to achieve this. Every athlete knows that they need a coach to help them to develop their skills and to help them grow into becoming the best possible athlete they can be. You need a coach and mentor who can help you improve your relationship with food, your weight and yourself. The best person for this job is someone who’s been through similar struggles to you and achieved what you want.
I’m your gal! I struggled for 34 years with numerous issues with food and weight. Finally, I found the path to true success for life. Since 2009, I have sustained my healthy relationship with food, my body and myself. I’ve helped 100s and 100s more and I’d love the privilege to be a part of your journey to creating your healthiest and happiest life.
Book a FREE Discovery Call with me today to find out how you can find freedom from food and learn how to create the life that you have always dreamt about living.
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Get ready to experience a level of understanding and support like no other. You will feel empowered, hopeful and have clarity, where once there was confusion. It’s time to get curious and enjoy the adventure of the challenge, with a community who say, ‘YES, I get you! You are not alone!’ This will have you saying, ‘YES’ to yourself.
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